Just The Idea
by blueandblack
Summary: Come on guys, Rose isn't useless - at least not in my head. Written for softly me's The Vampire Diaries Comment Ficathon. The prompt was 'and I'm ill with the thought of your kiss'


Damon thinks about it too much – all the time, at all, too much.

The idea that Elena kissed him back that night on the porch when he told her all those things that were terrifying and true and truly cringe-worthy, looking back.

The idea that it was really her.

Just the idea of it.

It sickens her, he knows that. He can't decide whether it's because she's not the kind of person who would do that to his brother or because he's the kind of person who would do worse to hers.

(He schools himself secretly: _Why not both._)

And he supposes it sickens him too – just the idea of Elena kissing him back. He's sick with it, isn't he? All the time, at all, etcetera.

He wants Rose to tell him he'll get over it, but Rose is a realist – that's why she runs.

That's why she says "You spent a hundred and whatever it was years waiting for Katherine, didn't you?"

Damon scoffs soundly. "That's because I thought I had a future with Katherine."

Rose smiles. She sips her drink and slinks out "Trouble is, you think you have a future with Elena too."

Damon grins into his glass and his teeth make clinking sounds when he says "Yeah, I have a future with Elena. As Stefan's best man at his big fat vamp wedding." He sets the tumbler down and fills it, rolls his eyes, narrows them when they get around. "I already offed his BFF, so I'm thinking I'm a shoo-in."

Rose doesn't laugh. She doesn't take her eyes off him. She holds out her glass, opens her mouth. A pause, then: "You can't get over the way she looks at you sometimes."

Damon raises an eyebrow. He wants to say something cutting and cute, something that will shut her up and down.

Rose is too quick. She says "And I'm not at all sure that you should, by the way."

Damon can't help smiling when he shakes his head.

* * *

"It's okay to love them both, you know."

When Rose says it, Elena thinks she's going to throw up. Actual waves of nausea pump through her body, and her fingers curl reflexively, she stands up like you fall over.

Her face feels hot. She thinks she's angry. She thinks _Why does everyone assume I'm Katherine 2.0? _and_ Why do people always like to pretend they're god when they're dying? _

She says it out loud – the first part, not the second – she's not that callous.

It's meant to be gentle – funny, maybe.

Rose grins slowly. The corners of her mouth seem to crackle with it and Elena bites back an inane question.

_Would you like me to get you a glass of water?_

It seems like a long time before Rose says anything. When she does Elena wonders if she was waiting for her to sit back down - waiting for her fists to unfurl.

She grins again, just as slowly. She opens her mouth. A pause, then: "Well, see Katherine never actually loved Damon, so maybe you'll blaze a trail with that."

Elena's on her feet again. She thinks about throwing her hands up.

She can't help smiling when she shakes her head.

* * *

Less than twenty four hours later Rose has Elena bailed up in a bloody bathroom. Her teeth are bared like they're going to fall out of her mouth and she's lumbering around, reaching, snatching, wheezing things like "You made him mad, he was sick with it and you only ever did it once, you let him kiss you and he went crazy, you changed him, you _changed_ him, Elena."

She blinks and her eyes spill red ropes that shake their way down to her feet.

"You made Trevor crazy - he was sick with it - and it was just once, just a little bit, and I'm so sick, Elena, I'm so scared, I'm so hungry inside-out, and I _can't..._"

She lunges. She's weak and so she is slow, but she's still quicker than Elena will be able to keep up with for long.

Damon finds them, and in the end he shoves a stake through her heart.

He cries when it's over, and Elena holds onto him.

And then Elena cries and Stefan is there to hold onto her.

* * *

Later, when they're alone together, Stefan tells Elena he hasn't seen Damon like that since their mother died.

His face creases in thought. "I was so young, I can barely remember. But what I do remember… it was like that."

Elena's eyes widen as he speaks, and new tears threaten.

Stefan says "I think he's really changed."

Elena's stomach runs for her ribs. She nods torturously.

She buries her head in Stefan's body.

* * *

Damon thinks about it too much – all the time, at all, too much.

The fact that Rose is gone.

The idea that Rose was right.


End file.
